We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
