Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
