I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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