the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
