i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
