Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
