New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
