So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
