And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
