In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
