I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
