Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This is my gift to your gina
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
