I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
