Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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