Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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