Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
