so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
