I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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