oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
