why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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