Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
