i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
