I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
