so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
