you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My balls are so social today.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize