ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
