i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
