can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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