Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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