I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
