Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize