We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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