I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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