and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
