Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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