i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
