another moral hangover. fuck.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
