I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
