Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
