Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
