I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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