so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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