So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
