Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
