Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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