the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
