is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
