Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
