Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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