His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
