That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
