just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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