yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
