Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
