Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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