I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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