Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
