So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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