dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
