so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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