All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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