College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
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He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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