I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
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You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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