Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
