My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
