OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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